#8: Don't Get Upset

The year is 2036, and my friends and I are going back to our alma mater this weekend. We're there to watch the college football postseason, and each of us is expected to bring a specific item:

  • My 28-year-old buddy, Adam, brings supplies for five fiestas
  • Adam's twin, Erica, brings two Capital One credit cards
  • My 35-year-old wife, Becca, brings four orange cupcakes
  • I, two years my wife's senior, bring seven rose bouquets and sign them with my name, David
  • My friend Chris, born a year before me, brings three Alamo memorials
  • My old professor Francis, age 58, brings a cotton shrub
  • And my grandfather (affectionately known as grandpa), born 85 years ago, brings 8 ounces of sugar

Nobody else even comes to this stupid thing any more. Why do we still bother?

Modification (Dec 31, 12:00 a.m. EST): A line has been added to the end of this puzzle.

Modification (Jan 4, 10:30 p.m. EST): This puzzle's name has been changed from "Don't Get Angry" and its structure has been simplified.