Solution to 1: Drop Your Pants

The text is in (Grade 1) Moon type with a small twist: All the characters are rotated 90 degrees clockwise. The quotes are from Shakespeare characters after whom moons of Uranus have been named. Indexing into the name of the play spells out SEVENTH (planet); the 90 degree rotation is a play on the planet's lopsided axis of rotation. The fact that both Moon and Shakespeare were named William is a complete coincidence referenced in the flavour text.

It's called Drop Your Pants because my sense of humour hasn't improved since 5th grade.

These are the forgeries of jealousy...
Titania in a midSummer night's dream (5)
Your tale, sir, would cure deafness.
Miranda in thE tempest (3)
Beshrew your eyes,
They have o'erlooked me and divided me.
Portia in the merchant of Venice (14)
So shall all the couples three
Ever true in loving be
Oberon in a midsummEr night's dream (9)
What shall Cordelia speak? Love, and be silent.
Cordelia in kiNg lear (3)
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Juliet in romeo and julieT (14)
I was the more deceived.
Ophelia in Hamlet (1)

URANUS